Not to say i didn't love my lessons at Brooklyn. Doug Cohen and George Brunner are fantastic teachers and i did feel like i took something away every lesson, even if i didn't have much to show them.
Anyway, first lesson was today. My current teacher, Reynold Simpson, was telling us about how when he studied with Carter, he had to bring new material every week, period. If he didn't Carter sent him home. Carter also told Simpson that "as a composer, making 40 hours a week to compose is normal. It is your profession now." Simpson parred it down to about 20 hours a week, especially as a full-time student. Right now, i have that time. When i get a job- which, incidentally i will have to eventually- that may change. unfortunately, composition does not pay my bills. Still...
Simpson also said "you can't wait till inspiration hits. If you sit around, waiting for inspiration, it may never come. or it will come when you're shopping and you may not have a pen and paper handy to jot down that idea." He likened composition to practicing piano (shudder). A solid pianist will practice everyday, 2-4 hours. sounds about right- why i never made it as a pianist. They don't go in ready to play. a lot of days, they don't want to practice. But, they sit down, start running scales, start doing etudes, run passages that haunt them in their sleep over and over again...and, maybe, after an hour or so, they really start to make music. Once they start playing, even the monotonous boring scales and arpeggios, eventually, the music will come...
I'm not an "when inspiration hits" kind of composer. I try to make time on a regular basis and write. unfortunately, i do go in spurts. I'll sit and try, do some sketches, it'll suck, throw it away discouraged, and come back again tomorrow. That may go on for a month or two...maybe longer...all depends on the situation. I had a good period there in September and October, really got some good work done, even if there is only about a minute of music to show for it...Then, November hit, i started working full time at Sam Ash, got kicked out of the house, slept on couches for a few days, moved into a friends apartment for a month...and really lost myself. Shit happens, and, unfortunately, as an emotional creature, it effects me greatly.
I haven't really touched anything since November. I wanted to, i got out the pads at night, tried to write a line or so, get going...and i would toss it aside, go to Hulu and watch some TV...
Now, I'm in Kansas City. I've started my Doctorate. my DMA...in Composition. I have a real chance to get my doctorate by age 30- shooting for the spring before my 31st birthday, including getting my thesis done. That's a lot of work...the coursework runs about 4 years or so, so i'm going to be doing my thesis while still doing coursework.
I've resolved to do this. I had said before "Doctorate by 30." I mean it...
I have decided...I will write every day here. I have to do it. I really have to...This is my last chance, as it were, to do this. I've thrown a lot out to get here, made sacrifices, moved all over the country, took a lot of chances. I know no one here, other than they few guys i've met in the program. I don't know the city...It's a great chance to hole up in my room and write...compose...like a real composer...
I will write everyday. I will also try to write on here everyday, as proof. I will try and put into words what I am doing. If it's not composing, what analysis I've done, what texts i've perused trying to find a sexy, sensual french poem to completely destroy semantically but keep the content...
I resolve to do this. Will i be able to keep it up? i don't know...so far the home-cooking idea has gone well. perhaps things shall work
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