Several Days Later

Friday was the premiere of 2 new pieces by me, All Things are Not Equal and You Can't See the Stars in the City (you can here recordings from the rehearsals here.) Street Cleaning was also performed, with me doing a great impression of a methed up hobo...but only after putting the audience to ease with a soft spoken introduction where i was more humble than usual. It's all about the stage presence.

I also performed on 4 more pieces during the course of the night. And lent a helpful hand by recording the concert with some fancy gear. I've been going through the recordings, cleaning them up, etc. Should have it done in short order.

The day following the performance, i was tired. It's still pretty stressful hearing your music performed, whether for an audience of 5 or 500. We didn't have either of those numbers (my guess would be the 40-60 range, which was less than i thought would be there, after we blew out La Esquina a year ago...) and, of course, it was a bit nerve wracking. Actually, I was much more afraid of La Esquina getting packed in like sardines, which happened a year ago. I'm claustrophobic, so even the thought of the small space packed to the brim had be uncomfortable.

2 days after the performance, i worked on the recordings a bit. They sound surprisingly good. A little mixing voodoo and they'll be golden. Listening to the recordings a couple days later was nice, as I was able to remove more of the subjectivity of the performance.

And let me say a couple things about the performance, objectively:

1. there are some killer solos. Nick Howell's solo on Hunter Long's "This Self-Imposed Abyss" sounded good to me then, but i was busy counting and playing backgrounds. on the recording, it blew me away. Fantastic
2. The group, overall, sounded pretty balanced
3. We play a lot louder in concert and lose some of the dynamic contrast we worked hard on in rehearsal. 
4. There was a lot of energy, a mixed sort of energy. Some was a nervous, forward pushing energy; some was a relaxed, focused energy. Most performers strive for the focused energy, but something can be said for the nervous pushing energy. It made Street Cleaning more raw than usual, which was fun.
5. There are always things to work on. Recordings don't lie too much. well, they do on tone colour, but not much else. I didn't play any major lines really, so I can't critique my playing- my "soloing" on Street Cleaning was just kinda, well, it was what it was. LOL. i wasn't trying to play a beautiful solo, more a "character" solo...which I think I did well enough. 

Overall, a special thanks to Black House Collective for the opportunity. A special thanks to Eli Hougland and Stamos Martin  for coming in just to play 2 tunes.

And, of course, thanks to all that showed up!

Oh, and this. "Now this is the plan. Get your ass to Mars." YAY SCIENCE!!!

I wish my hair was as awesome...

As Mark Applebaum's

I don't usually like Ted Talks. Most are benign, easy listening versions of good talks. And, honestly, this talk isn't all that different.

But it serves as great reminders to let your creativity be what it wants to be. As a composer, it's easy to get bogged down in some ideas- performability, standard notation, preconceived conventions (usually based on genre), fear (of new things, of not being good enough, of making something people won't like, of making something uninteresting, of breaking the piano, of pissing off the concertmaster)

So take it as a reminder about being an artist- do what your artistic idea has you do. And be entertained by just how "crazy" Mark Applebaum is.

And I will admit it here- I really wanted to go to Stanford. It was my top choice of schools for my doctorate. My life placed me at UMKC for many reasons, and I do not regret being here...But every time I see what's happening at Stanford, I know, deep down, that it's where I probably would have fit in the best. UMKC has been great to me, no question. I've learned a great deal here. It's a case of the "grass is always greener on the other side."

So, lesson 2? Take your time and apply everywhere you're thinking about for grad schools, or else you WILL get that "greener on the other side" shit stuck in your brain.

Enjoy a manic Mark Applebaum

http://www.ted.com/talks/mark_applebaum_the_mad_scientist_of_music.html

Professional Updating

Over the past month or so, I've been slowly updating my website, CV, list of compositions, etc.

First off, let me say don't wait as long as I did. Some of the stuff has been sitting since last MAY! Oi...

Second, it has made me take stock of everything I've done so far...especially recently.

I've had over the last 2 or so years:

• 5 commissions
• 8 premieres (yeah, that's right, i wrote one piece that wasn't a commission. go figure. LOL)
• 1 international paper presentation
• A commission and release by a record label
• 12 concerts of works (with at least 2 more lined up this year)
• A public presentation of a recording
• A piece "broadcast" as a part of an online edition of a literary magazine

Not too shabby. The line-up for the fall includes

• Collaboration and Installation as a part of ArtSounds
• Kick-off Concert for ArtSounds
• more commission requests than I can easily handle
• publication of a paper (just need to work on the formatting and send it off)

So, I'm not into the major world yet, getting 20+ performances a year, but last year I pushed it up nicely. 

The only thing to really take away from this is- don't wait to update your CV and website. Because, if you're growing more active, you'll just accumulate more things, and then when people ask you for a link for listening and you say "oh, jeez, um...i've got a recording on here somewhere..." it looks bad. Put stuff up as it comes in, even if you're busy.

Cause letting everyone else know you're busy makes you get even more busy

the cycle of busy, let it roll, let it roll

Ferneyhough and Me

After writing two new pieces this summer, I've started up a third. The first two played with new (to me) pitch organization systems. The first, All Things are Not Equal, focused primarily on a spectralist approach, the second, You Can't See the Stars in the City, combined spectralism with quintal, quartal, and several fibonacci style generated scales. In the second, with it's several different scales/chords, i assigned each a number and moved through them sequentially, in a quasi-tonal style.

Both songs are "jazz." All Things derives the spectral content from the opening  chord in the guitar. Below this pitch content, i have a repetitive bass groove (focusing on the fundamentals of the chord) that switches speed and style about 60% through the piece. Stars is an interesting reinterpretation of Naima, a jazz ballad, "reharmonized."

For the third piece, what i'm envisioning is much more complex yet possibly more elegant. I'm struggling greatly with pitch organization (as I always do), and, as such, I went looking for some help. Being on a bit of a Brian Ferneyhough kick, I dug up some articles, interviews, etc with/by Ferneyhough.

The below quotes are all from
        Ferneyhough, Brian and Boros, James. "Shattering the Vessels of Received Wisdom." Perspectives of New Music, Vol. 28, No.2 (Summer, 1990) p 6-50.

The first is about the performers relationship to music, especially the process of learning a new piece. It's something I've hit on before (repeatedly, forcibly) in conversation- complex pieces are rewarding endeavors, and there is much to be gained by focusing on learning the piece. In the attempt, a performer unfolds the truest nature of the piece...

I believe that one should never start from the global effect, but rather allow it to emerge synthetically as a result of the confluence of other compositional considerations. This seems to me the sole way to legitimize, to ground sonoric innovation; everything else is bon gout. For example, there have been several quite well-known flutists who have refused to take my Unity Capsule (1975) into their repertoire with the argument that it is not worth the amount of time and effort required, since "similar" sounds can be improvised or else notated much more simply (perhaps graphically). There is no way that I can see to persuade such individuals that the approach to learning the work is an essential polyphonic strand in the final result. Only the experience of actually attempting it can--perhaps--achieve that...(7)

The next couple are about listening. The first describes a feeling I often get listening to Ferneyhough- just as I grasp a relationship, Ferneyhough has moved on, speeding through ideas at several different speeds. It's like watching Indy Car (I am from Indiana, after all...the 500 is a part of my life, whether I want it to or not). But imagine if there was an Indy Car race, at the same time as Nascar, at the same time as a drag race in the center of the track. Three races, three different speeds, three different levels of perception. It isn't easy to understand all the events at once, but the end product is one of constant motion, of energy pushing forward to brief moments of stasis that hit me like slow-mo in a Christopher Nolan film...

One thing that makes this music perhaps more difficult than some is not so much its actual density, but rather the slight disbalance I tend to build into the relationship of time-flow to complexity of individual semantically coherent units. This gives the listener the sensation of always being "behind" the flow of events, of running to catch up, as it were. Some might assume this to be a negative state of affairs; I simply utilize it as one more tool for energizing the sonic flow, for modifying its perpectival characteristics. (10)

Finally, a quote that explains how I feel about my own pieces! As I've told many friends- you may not "get" everything on a single pass, in fact I never expect that of anyone. But you can choose things to focus on, and, in that, choose an interesting path through the music. This creates a unique experience for every listener.

Some composers positively expect that the audience be essentially passive, whilst still others treat the public rather paternalistically. My own attitude is to suggest to the ear sequential bundles of possible paths through the labyrinth--paths, that is, which are mapped out in the synchronization of the simultaneous processual layers with a view to encouraging the risky undertaking of instantaneously selecting between them. (10) 

It's always good to be reminded of these things. No, I haven't gotten the information I was looking for, yet, but even these reminders give me a little renewed hope as I try to dredge through similar ideas. And if the information is enlightening, it doesn't matter if it was the information I wanted- it's the information I needed at this exact moment.

Well done, Brian Ferneyhough. Even in your words, a labyrinth is presented, and I'm taking that risky leap.

Existence

humans are meant to create, to dream, to do more than buy useless shit and sit around all day
this is not existence

some days, that inspires me. maybe, through my music, i can inspire that feeling in others. that there's something more to this shit. that beauty isn't a pornstar, that music isn't a recording, that there's more out there than what the TV and internet tell you

other days, i'm defeated, that not only my chosen profession, but my very life is deemed worthless by society; because it can't be bought and sold; because it exists in a single instant and can't be held onto. since i'm not a commodity, i'm worthless

right now, i'm in the middle, just moving along. But at least I'm trying. even on days i feel defeated, i try. Because if i don't at least try, then there really is no existence

Q: I really want to do something meaningful, but what even defines that? If no one cares, then obviously it isn't
A: it's amazing, but, often times, someone cares, maybe one, maybe ten, maybe 500, maybe the country or the world...

but, i dunno...most days i'm happy if i can reach one person. i accept that in teaching
not everyone in my class will get a lot out of the classes, but if i can reach one student a semester, not even one per class, just one student a semester then at least someone is a little better for it.
This doesn't mean that I don't do my best for every single student. On the contrary, I have to do my best for every student, or else no one would get anything from any class.

it's funny that i accept it more in teaching than in my art. My friends give me positive reinforcement. my bff will listen to it and be positive (she's a damn good sport!). Sometimes there's a bit of an audience. But do i accept that i reach at least one person with every piece I write? Do I EXPECT to reach one person with every piece? or every performance?

No, i lack the confidence in my art it seems. But, I TRY. I put my soul into every creation, from the shortest song written on a straw wrapped and left in a restaurant, to a 17 minute song cycle, to this blog post. Because if i don't, then i've proven the nay-sayers correct- I am worthless and i do nothing meaningful.

Life is more than this...more than the laptop on which I'm typing, more than the studio monitors and audio interface pumping Entombed, more than my crappy Jeep, than the job I hope for after i finish my doctorate so I can pay my loans, more than the sum of every single piece of money and matter.

We, as humans, can do so much more.

So, go, create. Write a song, paint a picture, design a new car engine, sing along with the birds, and do whatever your soul tells you to do. It's about time we listen...

new release

Latest piece, Putney Chutney, has been released by Irritable Hedgehog! You can find it here.

This is a fantastic label with lots of great music out already. Be sure to check out the entire site, not just my own little ditty.

Special thanks to David McIntire for giving me the opportunity!

Listening to Timbre

Over on a blog run by friend Scott Spiegelberg, the topic of composing with timbre came up. I'm a sucker for these conversations, so i lept in. In my comment I pointed out a couple interesting texts by electronic composers and mentioned a listening list.

Rather than post in his comments, i decided to post my short list (extremely short list) of some pieces that focus on timbre as a compositional method.

Basic ground rules were: Timbre had to be a major form of organization; one piece/album per composer (with one notable exception); give a nice cross-section of works both acoustic and electronic

some caveats: this is definitely a short list. it's missing all sorts of pieces by all sorts of composers. No noise musicians, no techno/house/ambient, not any "pop" at all really. not even the minimalists like Mikel Rouse (mainly cause I have no idea what I'd list of his...LOL). And, yes, there's a predilection of pieces by friends. But it's a thing we do, so why not?

Please add your own in the comments!

-Atmospheres- Ligeti

-From Me Flows What You Call Time- Toru Takemitsu

-Pente- Dennis Smalley

-Unsound Objects- Jonty Harrison

-Amerique- Varese

-Tongues of Fire- Trevor Wishart

-Stimmung- Stockhausen

-Inner Time II- Radulescu

-Les espaces acoustique- Grisey

-La Creation du Monde- Bernard Parmegiani

-De Natura Sonorum- Parmegiani 

-2012 Stories- Paul Rudy (i think he's up to five or six discs in the series. "In Lake'ch" is the first, and quite powerful. He also performs with these live, and it's amazing.)

-Requien- Michel Chion

-Beneath the Forest Floor (off "Transformations")- Hildegarde Westerkamp

-Riverrun- Barry Truax (really need to listen to the 8 channel version)

-Time, Motion, and Memory- John Young

-Metastasis- Xenakis (though it was hard to choose just one!)

-I Am Sitting in a Room- Alvin Lucier

-The Light that Fills the World- John Luther Adams

-Ethers- Tristan Murail

-unhurried, untitled- David McIntire

-With my Eyes Shut- Jason Bolte (really, anything by Jason is amazing, but this piece in particular is astounding. Also, the it's in just intonation…makes those seemingly not too difficult clarinet lines tough…especially all those pesky held notes he put in there!)

-Bubolz Walk- Andrew Seager Cole (again, you can just sit on his site and listen away, but i'll go with his latest tape piece as an example)