the pain in my leg

So, i've continued to run the general course of the piece, and it continues to not want to run along. Gargh. this thing needs done a week ago, at least, and here i am, not able to put a decent line together. it's all figured out...just needs to happen. normally i'd let it gestate for awhile, but i do not have the time for such things at the moment

The weather has turned sunnier. such things make me happy. it's been proven that sunlight helps increase serotonin levels, which generally means more happy feels. i could use them

and it allows me to wander, to walk, a little more freedom in a city i still feel like i know nothing about. I've probably traveled more of it than i ever did of NYC, but i felt NYC's soul from the moment i stepped foot off the train, heading to Brooklyn College in spring, 2007, for matriculation exams. I knew it then, what the city was. Kansas City...it's hiding itself a bit. perhaps i am too distracted

And my leg hurts. this happens when i walk more. My shoulder aches from the change in weather. my leg hurts because, for quite some time, i've had the ligaments on one side of my leg pulling a little tighter than the other side. when i look down, i have one straight foot and one foot cocked a little bit outwards. I've started stretching it again, but i don't see it helping much at the moment. I presume i probably actually really hurt it at some point and ignored it. That's how i usually was in sports. Half the time i didn't notice. Damn pain threshold...

Just ask Cory. :)

anyway, i'm going to bed or something. if it won't flow, it won't flow. I blame spending a fair amount of the weekend thinking technically. that usually does in my creative side.

as a coworker of mine once said "you can only be an expert at one thing. You may be very good at many things, but it is impossible to be an expert at more than one thing." As i get older, i get it...and i realize that when i actually have to switch my concentration fully to make it work. So, if i don't actively think about electronics, hard-core, i won't be able to do any good with them. and if i don't think about composition fully, i can't get more than the basic grunt work down. It's really sad


Anyway, to bed.