1 outta 100

I'm taking a bit of a page from my all my writerly friends.

They have told me "if you send out 100 submissions, 1 will probably be accepted"

I felt that way about jobs, but, i'm starting to think finding a job is a lot more luck than perseverence. even if you're qualified and sending tons out, you're fighting that 100-1 ratio for applicants at every job it seems.

But, in submissions in my professional realm (sending out scores, auditioning for ensembles, etc) that's a different story. I'm really new to that market and so i'm pushing on. Still, it's been a rough summer for me. gigs falling through (i've learned to charge about 1/10 of what i'm actually worth professionally here. if i'd charge $1000 for an arranging job, charge $100. then, i might have a crack at it...), submissions rejected, and not winning auditions. throw on top the lack of a job, no money, having my car broken into, well, i prolly have a right to feel a little down...

But i don't really. My friends and family are being quite supportive. without that, maybe, i'd be done. But, instead, i'm taking a different approach.

I'm not working hard enough.

This summer is almost over and i don't have any new pieces written. why? there is no reason i shouldn't have written at least a couple major pieces by now. had the time.

So, it's time to man up even more. More submissions need to go out. put myself out there even more. Send my works around, get them torn apart, or maybe even accepted, and just keep on keeping on. i love doing this too much to quit. i won't waste the last 8 years of my life...

People put their faith in many different things: God, Allah, Buddah, money, the internet, other people.

I put my faith in myself first. Good thing will happen if i just work harder. just. work. harder.