getting stuck again

So, as has become a general theme in my compositional life, i am, again, full of commas.

wait, no, that's not it

OMG, THE COMMAS HAVE INVADE, ummm...MY HOUSE!

I'm stuck. Got about halfway through a movement, thought it was pretty good. Took it into the Dragon, and was shown various errors. Mostly pacing errors, a little bit of weak orchestration and rhythmic development. Nothing major. Since showing the piece (a fledgling little trombone concerto) at the beginning of the semester, I've done a fairly good job re-orchestrating portions, changing up the pacing a bit (basically giving a lot more room to breathe, longer calms with short high paced moments of action.), and did a little re-orchestrating. at last, i reached the point where i had finished the previous semester.

and stopped.

Confused, bewildered, full of "wtf." every day, i'd look at the score, go over all my past work, take copious notes. I drew form pictures, picked out developed themes i like, pushed around the notes of the different collections, inverted, retrograded, mirrored, made fun shapes...hell, i even toyed with making a tonnetz of the three pitch derivatives i used at the beginning.

And i'm still stuck. Usually running through all this sort of busy-work, breaking things down, moving things around, analyzing what i've done, tossing tons of material on paper and sorting through things...usually this pops me outta my funk. I redid my formal plan based on what has already happened (compared to the original plan. those never last.). I did some Theory of Maxima. (which i thought i had blogged about, and appears i have not. hmmmm....well...later...)

I took these things to the Dragon. His suggestion: write differently. Ok ok, that is really glib. What was suggested was to work out the solo line and work in short score. Then, move onto orchestration.

We all work differently. For some, melody is king and most important. for others it is the rhythm or the form. Me, it's all about timbre.

I come up with basic melodic ideas and themes at the onset. These usually remain pretty set, no matter what. From there, it's about developing those couple ideas extensively. When i come up with a variation, i almost always have an instrument in mind. working in short score has never made sense to me. The one time i've done it was with my opera, written as a piano score first with the idea to orchestrate later.

too bad i wrote it for piano at that point. whoops. turned into a pretty crazy hard piano part, but it's definitely piano-centered. i orchestrated one movement for the original intended orchestration (string quartet, flute, piano, percussion...and i think a brass of some kind. i don't remember). It's alright. but the piano is better.

Still, I am stuck. Quite stuck. So, even though it is pretty much counter to how i normally work, i will try it. I will work on it hard this week. Because i need as many tools as possible when i'm no longer in a place where i can take a piece into a lesson. Need every single different trick possible to get outta funks and write the best music i can.

And, who knows, maybe i'll do it better this time.

blah

I've been feeling a bit down this week. It happens. I go through cycles just like everyone else. My current diet/level of physical activity has definitely helped me from any deep plunges lately. Plus, a nice string of good luck. Whoever out there that is trying to make my life a bit better, thank you greatly.

The biggest problem i have when i hit these funks is writing music. Basically, i'll stare at a page, unable to come up with anything. I'll run through some motions (write a line, do its transpositions, inversions, some rotational aspects, etc) and still nothing. So, i'll pop on some "tv on the internet" (hulu, or some illegal sites) and watch that for awhile. come back and try the writing thing again. then i'll throw on some music, make some sort of elaborate feeding session, try a new recipe, something like that. When i'm finished cooking and ready to eat, i'll watch another episode of whatever show i was watching before, or maybe toss on a movie. Last night, that movie was Blues Brothers. awesome. still, nothing.


Yesterday, i also tossed in driving to the mall and checking out shoe stores and trying to find a radio shack. shoes for my feet and a single stage power conditioner, outlet box, and any cable/clamps i might need to make a home-made power conditioner. Unfortunately, i failed on both accounts. Shoe shopping always sucks cause no one seems to have what i want. Vans, skater shoes, relatively plain (no skulls, no crazy colours). Colour is negotiable however, i prefer black on black (partly for professional reasons).

Anyway, i hopped on here this morning thinking i would do a nice long article on "The Death of Hearing" based upon 1)headphone listening levels, 2)accurate broadcast of music through any medium (headphones, speakers, radio. all these things change the sound. not to mention things like mic choice, mixing ability, etc). 3) the over compensation of mixers attempting to make a product that sounds alright over these mediums 4) the availability of media destroying live acoustic performances (even those coloured by PA systems), and 5) the lame attacks by the record industry to stave off sharing of music, and continuing to view the most important product created as the CD (or the iTunes mp4a up for sale.) 6) the degradation of media quality for file size-- a simple trade-off but one that people don't always realize is a bad thing, in some ways.

But, i don't feel like fleshing it out. I was actually going to flesh it out with proper citations from credible sources and send it off for a conference...however, i just don't feel like it now. Heh. yep, its the funk. I think washing my sheets would help. I'll do that today. I had meant to early in the week but got distracted. clean sheets is a joyous thing.

On that note, i'm going to shower, walk to a coffee shop with compy, maybe do some work there. Not sure i'd really need compy for this mission, but i love him so. lol. anyway, catch y'all later

oh yeah, bought my plane tickets to NYC for Electronic Music New York's International Electro-Acoustic Music Festival. I'm on the "emerging composers" concert on Aprils 13th, Levenson Recital Hall, 7pm. lol. Hopefully i can get moved up with the big boys soon. not that i'm really as good as they are, it'd just look better on the CV. lol