Event 2- The Art of Revision

At 28, I've written more than a few papers. Short essays, long research papers, reviews, fiction, plays, poems; you name it and I've probably dabbled in it. I'm fairly competent; my grammar is generally acceptable, spelling pretty good, my research is top notch, and I try to be at least somewhat interesting. Good enough to "High Pass" my comprehensive exams research essay. Good enough to present at conferences, and maybe get published. Not so good as to get a book picked up by a publisher.

Editing, however, has always been a weak point. It's been a main area of focus over the last two years. It's an art. David Mamet answered the question "what do you do?" with "I shave syllables." In essence, that's what most writers do. Not so much the case with me until about a year ago, when I did 5 revisions on a 12 page research paper. This was completely unheard of at the time.

But nothing touched doing my Fulbright application. The process really started going in August, ramping up through September till crunch time in October. From the end of August till I submitted the app in mid-October, editing my Fulbright essays was a nightly endeavor.

The total writing was 3 pages.

My personal essay was alright from the beginning. I still managed 8 revisions. There was shaving to be done, phrases to tighten, words to cut, and always the small grammar errors here and there. But the story was there and somewhat compelling, if one could call my life compelling.

The research proposal was another matter. 2 pages that would grab the reader, give them all the pertinent information, list a methodology, and layout a timeline. Alright, I can do the last three, but grabbing the attention of the reader? I figured the idea would be enough for that: Travel to Sweden, interview heavy metal and death metal musicians specifically about the use of folklore and folk melodies, and any connections to political and social messages in the music. Use that info to help write an opera, all the while using the resources at the Royal College of Music in Stockholm. Sounds interesting, right?

I revised that puppy 12 times by the end. This was easily a record for me. Even by the end, I wasn't all that confident in my work. It's a beastly amount of work, finding that balance between interesting and "academic." I feel like I had a more free style younger in life, but was forced into a more academic style of writing. And here I am applying for a prestigious academic fellowship, and I'm being told "Be more interesting! You sound too academic!" Who would have thought?

But it was an amazing process. I'm not expecting good news on the Fulbright. If I don't receive one, it doesn't diminish what I took away in the process: learning to juggle edits from multiple sources, examining the nuance caused by simple grammar changes, learning the style dictated by grants and fellowships, and seeing the massive amount of support needed to succeed in such an endeavor.

Whether I get one or not, the process was definitely worth the time

And all this was made all the more challenging considering I turned it in during my comprehensive exam, while also planning a concert with eighth blackbird. Easy to concentrate.

What a couple months...

I disappeared for a while. For good reasons, I promise. It's been a crazy month...well, a bit over a month. The basic break down

1) Doctoral Comprehensive Exam- This ate 2 weeks of my life in early October, plus a few weeks prior studying

2) Fulbright application- Turned this puppy in DURING my comps. Yep, I finished my 48 hour essay, had a week of studying for my comprehensive listening test (meaning any piece from any time period, drop the needle style) ahead of me...and what did I do instead? Spent hours almost every night editing and rewriting a Fulbright proposal.

3) eight blackbird side-by-side concert- I organized this bad boy: Found the space, took all the submissions and organized sending them out, did initial judging of each selection (21 entries, done in one night), found the space, negotiated price of space and dealt with logistics, attended rehearsals, helped show 8bb around to all their various coachings (man, their schedule was NUTS!), loaded all the equipment and moved it to the space in a 24' box truck, set it up, tore it down, and then drank...This was a huge project that took lots of help from faculty and students (Shout-out to Joseph Kern for all his work with Musica Nova!)

Won't be doing that again for quite some time!

4) concert with KcEMA at La Esquina, Perceptions and Realities...this was an "easy" one

5) Installed an interactive installation designed with Bobby Zokaites called "The Machine the Sneetches Built," ran the opening, and had to set-up all the tech each morning, then chilled in the gallery in case anyone had questions. This was another huge opportunity thanks to ArtSounds, UMKC Conservatory, UMKC Community Music and Dance Academy, Kansas City Art Institute, and Charlotte Street. It was a resounding success in the community, especially on opening night! There will be photos and video up soon, hopefully.

So, I've been busy. All of these things deserve their own blogposts, and I think I'll get on that. Thanksgiving break starts tonight after we tear down The Machine, so maybe I'll write a bunch and time the posts, or something fancy like that. I mean, that can't be any harder than dealing with WiiMotes

What's going to put me over the top!!!

I found!

I used to say "give me a nice pencil sharpener, and I'll write an unforgettable piece!"

but found the pencil sharpener wasn't enough. So there had to be something else, some other piece of gear holding me back.

So I said "If I only had Logic PRO! No more Express, I need the full version!"

And I got a piece published. But I found myself wanting more. Still didn't have the big win, needed another big festival, huge conference

So I wrote a paper and presented it at EMS12 in Sweden. And I was still left wanting.

Then i figured it out. Even with all these online submissions popping up, I needed a way to market myself better. The website redesign is alright, workable, livable. The scores look as good as ever (now with prices!). but the recordings? They sound pretty good, but the look! The look was way off!

After searching for a couple weeks, I found my answer. Yep, that's right.

All I need now to put me over the edge is a Lightscribe enabled external CD/DVD player. Now I'm finally ready for the big time! Bring on the Pulitzer committee!

Ok, yeah, might be a little soon for that, but, c'mon, it is pretty damn schnazzy. I gave it a hard problem, a really nice picture with all sorts of different contrasts, and some text over top. And it handled it admirably. Some of the best money I've spent in a while.

And there was the even more practical matter that my macbook pro's optical drive has gone out. Might as well upgrade if I'm replacing anyway.

how'd i get here?

I have been inspired by 2 recent things to write a series on "how i got here." The first was the reminder that it's definitely the time of year people are sending off doctoral apps. We have a prospective doctoral student dropping by UMKC this week. Also, Speak Coffee has started a retrospective of her journey through the MFA process, starting with the application process. I don't have nearly the reader's she does (composers don't seem to keep as many active blogs...at least, none of my friends in the biz do.) but i figure i could offer a little wisdom.

Speak Coffee starts at her MFA process. I'm going to start with undergrad. why? because explaining my MM or DMA process to date wouldn't make sense without it. Most of you know this story, some of you may not. Dunno who reads this blog. lol.

I didn't come into this world knowing i was going to major in music. I played piano starting at a very young age, took lessons, hardly practiced. In late elementary school, i joined band, played trombone, because i accidently checked trombone instead of tuba. My family wasn't poor at the time, but we didn't have extra money floating around so i was supposed to play a "school" instrument. Alas, i checked the wrong box. heh

High school was a bore. I went to a small rural public school in Indiana. it didn't have all the fancy advantageous of bigger schools, or richer schools. The main form of music was the competitive marching band. In my time from 7th grade till 12th grade, i had 4 directors, and an assistant director. One director was a bit more influential than the rest. He had charisma oozing out of every pore. We all wanted to be music majors after hanging out with him.

At the same time, i did a lot of work for a community theater. It's a moderately successful group, the musicals tend to sell out a 500 seat auditorium at least one night of the run. not bad for a theater situated in a town of 6000 or so. It wasn't quite the draw then, but i still landed a major singing lead at 15 (Edward Rutledge in 1776. Yes, at 15 I sang "Molasses to Rum to Slaves." the archival camera, which patched audio directly from the board, actually shook when i hit the final high note. talk about clipping...). I was a theater brat. my mom has her BFA in theater design/acting/directing (yes, triple major. and almost a music minor, but didn't take theory.)

So, yeah, i didn't know what to do. I knew HS sucked, so i started looking forward to college. During my sophomore year i started planning. I was getting materials sent to me from all over the country. I clearly remember some of the schools i considered before i even nailed down a major: Claremont-McKenna, University of Miami (Fl.), John Hopkins/Peabody Conservatory, DePaul, DePauw, Lawrence University, Case Western Reserve, Carnegie Mellon, Tulane. Obviously, i had no idea what kind of school i wanted to attend or what i wanted to major in. That runs the gamut, i'd say. the only thing was a push away from major state schools and toward private schools. The question to most seniors at my school was "Purdue or IU?" i ran away...

After much soul searching, i decided upon Music over Chemistry. i still miss the feeling i got doing all those experiments, but i've replaced it with other types of experiments now. I narrowed down the schools even more- DePaul, DePauw, Lawrence, Peabody, U Miami. I sent applications to DePaul, DePauw, and Lawrence. Peabody's sat finished, waiting for me to do a recording. U Miami cost more than i was willing to spend (it was, at the time, $110 application fee.)

I didn't understand liberal arts education. I wanted my degree to be more specialized, actually learn SOMETHING rather than a little of everything. I never dreamed of going to grad school- to me a bachelors seemed terminal. I had no idea the difference between a conservatory and school of music and just a music department (my mom tried to explain that a conservatory is usually more hardcore.)

I auditioned at DePauw and Lawrence. my decision at the time was 100% based on money.

What did i learn from this?

1) Start looking at schools early even if you don't know what you want to major in. There are thousands of choices, and, depending where you are, your guidance counselors will be no help. this is especially true in music. The only people who can help are the ensemble directors/music teachers in your school, and they may not know that many programs. I know, i wouldn't have been able to tell students jack after i finished my undergrad degree.

2) Look based somewhat on where you want to live. Close to home? far far away from home? i can tell you, it's nice to have your mom be able to drive down for a concert, but have it be far enough away that it's a special trip. Gave me lots of freedom, but if i needed to get home for some reason, i could. not true anymore.

3) visit the schools. don't send a tape. go audition. do an overnight. talk to current students at ALL levels. find out as much info as possible

4) check your mail...it was in Decemeber, 2002, after i started at DePauw that i found the letter from DePaul. they had offered me a large sum of academic scholarship and wanted me to come audition. i don't regret my decision, but i do wonder a bit what would have happened at the other schools.

Thus shows my pre-undergrad years. It was a lot of indecision and fumbling around, wondering where to go and what i needed to do. There wasn't much help at my school, other than my band director giving me a few suggestions (of course, his alma mater first. lol).