Music, Mathematics, and Logic

And, no, not the DAW.

For the past week, I've been working on learning LilyPond and Frescobaldi. LilyPond is text-based music engraving software. Frescobaldi is a front-end interface that helps speed things along, with quick insertion, a code snippet repository built in, auto-fill typing, and a preview window that links to your code. Incredibly handy for spotting errors.

LilyPond is entirely programmed in C++, so it constitutes the second time I've learned a C-style environment (The first being CSound, which is C). It was not the first time I've delved into learning a C++ environment, as I had attempted to learn the basics of C++ several years ago. I also had attempted to learn LilyPond several years ago, and gave up after a couple weeks of banging my head on the desk.

It's amazing what a couple of years can do. The LilyPond has been greatly improved, and Frescobaldi improves my workflow. There are still some nit-picky things I don't like about the formatting before tweaks, but they're not a big deal--straight out of the box, LilyPond can create a usable, and relatively aesthetically pleasing score.

All this is lead up to the real issue at hand--Music, Mathematics, Logic, and computer programming

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A conversation popped up on my Facebook feed a few days ago regarding the importance of learning mathematics, from algebra through calculus, in HS. The question was posed "How many of you use algebra, geometry, trig, or calculus in your day to day lives, or in your professions?" The string of answers came in, ranging from "Never, it's pointless," to "Use algebra regularly, but there are a lot of programs that handle the math for you."

Here are my answers:

as a matter of fact, yeah, most every day while I'm attempting to do programming. having not taken calculus at any point, I'm really far behind in a ton of ways. I'm struggling horribly making command protocols because I don't have the math background needed.

It is definitely worth taking, because it allows you to pursue sciences. Definitely tell every younger person I know to load up on math. It doesn't hurt to learn it, and if you don't, you are limited by what you can later achieve. I seriously kick myself every day for thinking that as a musician I'd never need math. But you never know what life brings you, so it's best to be prepared. 

14 y/o me never would have believed 30 y/o me that I'd spend 8+ hours a day learning a programming language. Never would have believed I'd write my own (unsophisticated) program for generating music. 

It's worth it in so many areas--don't limit your future because it may not be used. Because if you don't have it, you'll definitely never use it.

And later:

I think treating education as a "learn only what you have to know to do X" instead of "learn all that you can so that you can do whatever you may pursue in the future" is dangerous ground. It assumes we know exactly what we'll be doing the rest of our lives, and limits us to that one early decision. It's harder to do when you're older, if the opportunity arises. And, if something doesn't work out, and you need to change paths, having a wider base of knowledge to draw from really helps facilitate that change.

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There's a huge amount of truth in my statement that 14 y/o John never would have believed 30 y/o me about what I'd need to know. I've done some posts chronicling my HS, undergraduate, and graduate career, with tidbits of advice. I've grown a bit as a human since those posts (and definitely as a writer), and there are a few things that I've come to understand.

First, that 14 y/o John had no real idea what was best for future John. He thought he did, and so did all the people giving me advice. But, in the end, no one is clairvoyant, no one could see that I'd spend a week of my time learning C++ to do musical engraving. 14 y/o me would never have been able to fathom writing a solo cello piece, let alone being fed-up with how slow and bulky engraving is in Finale and Sibelius. He never would have understood when I learned how to engrave in Inkscape because notation software handles proportional notation horribly--especially if you're using ruler measurements not note-spacing (this should happen in 1.7mm as compared to this should happen every X amount of notes).

17 y/o John had petitioned his HS to allow him to take a compute programming course at a neighboring HS. They offered a C++ course, and he was very interested in getting into programming. He'd been an avid gamer (and I still am), and he felt like learning how to program might be a good step in that direction. His petition was rejected, and he took a course on "Business Computer Applications," which taught him little he didn't know--the introduction to Access was helpful, but the other 3/4 of the class--Word, Excel, and building a Geocities site--he already knew how to do (spoiler, I had a Geocities site before that class, and ended up having two! That's right, I had 2 Geocities sites!).

But before that, HS John was making mistakes. He had decided to take jazz band, band, and even choir instead of math courses. He never took anything beyond Algebra 2 as a sophomore. He was on the path to take Calc as a senior, but decided that "as a musician, I would never need this."

He was wrong.

In undergrad, as a music education major, there is not much wiggle room in the curriculum. The basic music curriculum is fairly open ended, but any and all free time is taken by the music education curriculum. Unlike in HS, where I felt 14 y/o John made mistakes, 18 y/o John didn't make any mistakes in his curriculum choices. There is no regret about taking conducting II, all the instrumental methods courses, or even the three 300 level lit courses 21 y/o John took in a desperate panic to graduate with a general music degree.

But still 21 y/o John had no idea what 29 y/o John would be doing.

My masters was much the same as undergraduate. Perhaps the one course 24 y/o John should have taken is the post-tonal theory course instead of the easier 20th century performance practice course. But even that course was great, as I got to work with  fantastic performer and scholar Douglas Hedwig. I learned PureData, tried learning CSound on my own (and failed), and started to see the deficits from my early educational mistakes.Still 24 y/o John only had an inkling where 30 y/o John was heading.

Flash forward, 28 y/o John is working on an interactive installation. He sees a major flaw in his plans--he lacks the skills to get the separate computer programs talking to each other. He scours the internet, finds bits of advice, but most of it is far beyond his understanding. His grasp of Java is weak (and it still is), and even though the programs have similarities, he's just not able to figure things out. The biggest sticking point? The underlying math, logic, and programming skills

Flash forward, 29 y/o John is trying to create a program for algorithmically generating music. It's something he's been intrigued by since 20 y/o John had met David Cope. 20 y/o John could grasp, conceptually, what Cope was doing, but had no idea how it worked. He filed it away for future reference. 24 y/o John had dabbled, and realized he had no requisite skills.

29 y/o John found himself locked in a lab while on a Fulbright, fighting the issue that he wanted music to be generated in real time during his dissertation. He wanted the computer to play an integral role to the development of his opera.

29 y/o John made the realization that 27 y/o John had a feeling about, 24 y/o John had an inkling, 21 y/o John had a small clue, 17 y/o John had a dream about, and 14 y/o John had absolutely no idea existed in the world--that without higher mathematics, his ability to program control into his patches was doomed.

So, 29 y/o John learned what he could. He read up on Markov chains, different processes for generating large amounts of data based on constraints, math, math, math.

He threw his mouse more than once. There was a couple months where he subsisted mainly on coffee, cigarettes, and bourbon. But he learned...

Just not enough.

Now I sit here plugging away at LilyPond. It's much easier than when I was teaching myself HTML and CSS at 17, then again in undergrad. It was easier than learning Pd in class during my masters. It's easier then when I tried to learn CSound, LilyPond, and Processing on my own, and failed at each. Each language builds off the last. Each bit of mathematics I learn for a project, builds and builds...but I still have no real understanding of calculus, or how to model higher mathematical functions. When I look at complex answers for fixing spacing in LilyPond, I blanch. No, it'll be easier for me to fix as an SVG. When I still think about creating a program to generate music notation in real-time, my heart races, and my thought is "Must.Find.Programmer..." (this is no longer a part of my dissertation, as it has evolved in a different way since those thoughts).

All this comes back to what 14 y/o John thought was going to be best for me. He was wrong. As are most HS students. Even those with the best intentions are often wrong. I've learned that the only thing I know for certain is that I have little idea what my future self may need to complete any given task.

So I offer this advice--do not choose an educational path because you think you want to do "X" for your entire life. In HS, push yourself and take the advanced courses. It's not to say that all the playing and singing didn't help prepare me to be a musicians, but in my choice to specialize early, I've come to realize that I succeeded in specializing--almost too well.

If you have the chance to learn something, learn it. Learn algebra, geometry, trigonometry, and calculus. Learn programming languages and mathematical logic. Learn to sing, dance, play instruments, paint, carpentry, plumbing, circuits, and electricity. Make your choices to learn one of the other when you have to, but do it for the right reasons. And never choose not to learn something because you don't think it will be valuable.

That was the real choice I made--not to learn to play jazz, or to learn to sing in a group. My choice was I did not think calculus, statistics, or any other math was going to be valuable. That may seem like a semantic difference, but it's really not. I made the wrong choice because my reasoning was wrong, not because math is more important than jazz band or choir.

Never miss a chance to learn--it's those missed opportunities that will haunt you later.

When did i start blogging about theater...

About the time I get sent blogs like this.

over at Bitter Gertrude a little post has gone viral: A Common Problem I See In Plays by Women Playwrights. It's Not What You Think.

And it really wasn't what I was expecting to read. Reactive female characters, women who were central characters but...not. And the parallel between reality. It's true. And in thinking through my catalogue of TV and Movie characters (which is far more exhaustive than Plays), I can see the trend throughout, notice immediately why certain female characters grabbed my attention. It's a great post, and one worth reading.

But, for me, it was the last little bit that got me.

"(PS to the men out there writing strong, compelling, active roles for women: Thank you. The women actors of the world also thank you. Don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t have the right to write stories for women because you don’t have “authenticity.” Jesus Timberlake Christ, do they really want there to be FEWER roles for women?)"

Once upon a time I did a little post talking about how I was somewhat timid to write female roles. The main recap is that I felt like I couldn't capture the essence of a strong female character. And, now I see at least one problem in some of the dialogue I've written for women. In attempting to make it seem "real," I've more or less created female characters that were amalgamations of women I know. They're never one particular person, a little bit from Friend A, a little from Friend B, etc. But, in doing so, I was watering down each person's attitude.

And making them more reactive than they should be.

So, I've still got quite a bit of work to do. I'm, at best, a novice writer in so many ways. But at least now I've been told, in writing, to get over the "authenticity" bit. Back to sketching a strong, less reactive, more central character for this opera

3 or more is a streak

You'd think there'd be continuity between the titles of my posts that are a series. but, no, i just don't do that. lol

Now we enter the more interesting point in my life: How i got into grad school.

There are tons of questions i'm sure people are DYING to know: what happened during my "lost" year, where did i apply, how did i choose where to apply, how i got into Brooklyn College (i may not have an answer for that one.), and why i chose Brooklyn College, in the end.

First off, I had applied to grad schools during my senior year at DPU. However, i was in and out of my mind, addled, stressed out, and basically going a more than a little crazy. So, i missed 2 deadlines of schools because i had them written down as the wrong deadlines. Yep, i swapped the dates for Brooklyn College and Bowling Green. Now, there was only a 2 week difference, but at the time, Bowling Green was higher on my list. could get an assitanceship, get things paid for, has a new music festival. seemed like a happening place. But, alas, it was due the 1st, Brooklyn the 15th. about the 4th i realized i had the wrong date for BG. But i thought that BG AND Brooklyn were the first. wrong again...see, brain addled

The other school was SUNY Stony Brook. They lost all my "supporting" materials. They had been signed for. I read the name of the person to the lady on the phone. She asked that i resend them (this was a month after the due date, of course.) I answered "Sorry, i don't have enough money to reprint, rebind, and resend all my scores overnight. Unless you want to cut me a check for your mistake, i can't do it. Also, i refuse to attend a school that looses my paperwork. I have dealt with this for 4 years, i will not continue to deal with it."

I was a dick. I admit it. And i don't care one little bit.

For the record, the three schools i looked at the most were Brooklyn College, Bowling Green, and SUNY Stony Brook. Brooklyn College came highly recommended by several people. Carlos thought it was a great school and wanted me to go study with Tania Leon. I met Kevin James (the composer/trombonist, not the comedian) who had also gotten his MM at Brooklyn College and highly recommended it. Two somewhat pivotal guys in my deciding to composer, telling me to go to BC? yeah, i'll put it on the list.

Bowling Green interested me because it was somewhat close to many of my friends, has a good reputation for new music, and seemed like a good program. the doctorate interested me more with its emphasis on contemporary music only. Still, it seemed like an interesting school. and the allure of a possible assistanceship was nice.

SUNY Stony Brook also came recommended by Carlos. I checked it out and listened to some music done by the faculty. Daniel Weymouth's music somewhat blew my mind, even though all i heard was Rare Events for Bass Clarinet and Tape. Still, after the debacle my senior year, i definitely was not going to apply again.

So, after not getting into grad school, mostly my own fault, i was going to drift for a year. I knew it was going to happen, and accepted it. My girlfriend at the time suggested we move to South Jersey and live at the beach. Well, i didn't have anything else going on and i had other skill sets i could try. I had previously worked as a lube tech and mechanics helper, i had done retail, and knew a thing or two about the production business and audio recording. Still, my (ex)girlfriend found a job months before me. LOL. just goes to show, ya just never know what'll happen.

I hooked up with a production company doing live events. I was a technician/driver. My job: Prep the order, load the order, drive it to the location, set it up, run it, tear it down, load it, unload it, check it. Seriously, i did everything except take the order. And, considering how much revising those orders went through I might as well have. the business did not have any sort of "inventory tracking." So, when we were out of something, i had to go upstairs, tell them, they had to call the client, and then figure out a substitute. yes, i'm serious...

Anyway, i cut my teeth doing lighting, sound, and video. I worked in a warehouse that had no AC and only had a few heated portions. I knew i wanted to go grad school.

So, i did research, looked at schools. I decided since i didn't do an undergrad in comp, the big names were out. Princeton, Yale, Cornell, Stanford were crossed off immediately. Brooklyn College was on the list with Bowling Green. I figured i should look for more options

That's when i found out Columbia College of Chicago was starting up a film scoring MFA. sounded AWESOME! i love film scores, love the whole process, and had been learning more about video and film the past year. I knew of Columbia because my oldest bro had gone there for a few years for a degree in audio recording.

I printed, bound, and sent off my meager portfolio to Columbia and Brooklyn College. I spaced on Bowling Green, as seemed to be a normal thing for me. My portfolio was...pathetic.

1) a piece for trombone and piano, incredibly tonal, a little rhythmic interest, i guess...Not bad for my second real piece, i guess. The piano writing had some amazing moments for sure

2) Aegean Straight Down for trombone, string orchestra, and timpani. It is...well...a fun little piece, i guess. I wrote it for the DPU Chamber Symphony's 2006 tour. The conductor felt bad because he had chosen a Haydn symphony as the large piece...so, for 25 minutes, i sat backstage and snored. He had suggested i learn an unaccompanied solo, like Mippy II or something, but Carlos suggested i write something. The conductor, Orcenith Smith, agreed, as long as it was relatively easy for the strings (we only had 2 weeks to put it together, after all.) It is...The basses hold an F

for 5 minutes

seriously

3) Two Gray Songs- two art songs with poetry by Kelsie Gray. It was my first foray into art song. I presented them in a masterclass with Jake Heggie. he hated them. i felt discouraged. Carlos loved them. I felt better. And, now i write for voice quite often. and i bet Jake Heggie would hate all my pieces. LOL

4) Things That Go Bump in the Night. It sounds like the title. seriously. I don't remember the instrumentation at all...

It wasn't much. looking back over, in retrospect, it wasn't bad. After meeting people from UMKC finishing their BM in Comp, i am surprised i got in ANYWHERE, but i met some amazing composers here. I went back over them over the summer, just as nostalgia, from the trombone quartet through my masters, and some of it wasn't bad at all. different from what i do now, but i can see it starting, in the piano parts to the piece for Trombone, and in Two Gray Songs...and some of the trombone licks in Aegean. Anyway, i digress...

That's what i sent out. Three pieces, all three were midi-realizations. i had no recordings, even though two had been performed. What i got back from Columbia College was "We like your music. We think you'll be a great composer. but you didn't submit any film music. do you have film skills at all? You're one of the strongest candidates musically, but think you're not a good fit for the program."

Yeah, they were right. lol. still, i was disheartened. But, somehow...

I got into Brooklyn College. I don't know how really. The faculty said it was my originality. They could tell i was willing to take giant leaps, try new things, go outside the box, even if the base skills weren't all there. I got the same answer from the folks at UMKC as well, actually. I always felt i just needed time, and i'd get better.

So, here are the nuggets to gleam out and some real advice

1) start planning early and be willing to take time off to find out where to go. There are millions of schools.

2) ask people in the know. This means your current professors, other students, friends, professional contacts, anyone anywhere. try and get some information!

3) GO VISIT! i didn't do this. I should have. if they know your face and know who you are, it'll go better. E-mail is great, phone calls are nice, but nothing beats showing up and shaking a hand!

the above three are very important. Many schools have a particular style. some teachers exist to create replicants of themselves stylistically. This can work if you want to write in that style. Get to know the programs. some are a lot more open and want varied backgrounds and interests (such as BC and UMKC). Others just want people "that fit." I am not judging either style, but obviously, one of them works much better for me as a student.

4) apply to multiple places, but don't have "fall-back schools." If you don't want to go there, DON'T GO THERE!

5) if you can, get a sample lesson with a teacher. don't go to a school "just because you like the teacher's music." Seriously. You can learn a great deal from people who have completely different styles and approaches than you. In fact, you may learn more. I hold to this. Some of the greatest advice I've gotten from composers whose music i don't particularly like.

6) be willing to move. it's nice staying in your safety zone, but, sometimes, there's just nothing there. take Indiana. There isn't a program in Indiana that suits me for composition. The closest is Bowling Green, really. Even the Chicago schools might not fit well, especially since Augusta Read Thomas is no longer at Northwestern.

7) don't give up. ever. If it's what you really want to do, DO IT! if you don't have the drive and determination to fight through a couple rejection letters than, well, you may not have the drive to make it all the way through.

being an artist, any type of artist, is not easy. It's not all sunshine and lollipops. Be prepared for that.

I loved the process. I switched production companies in Jersey right before my MM started, but i stayed with them for those 2 years doing audio for some amazing bands. I wrote a great deal of music at BC. I learned electronic music. I had known the software, done recording and editing before, knew live sound, but never used it for music. It was pretty awesome to go that direction.

but BC years are for later. for now, I am off! byebye