Opera Project 2013 is underway. Had the first full rehearsal today, a read through of all the pieces. And for this project, I volunteered my services as wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man. Every so often, I end up doing this, mainly as a "last resort" or as special favors.
In this case, it was a very simple decision: This project contains 90 minutes worth of music. All are premieres. We have rehearsal at least once a week until the last couple weeks, then we'll add more. Rehearsals run 2.5 hours.
We're lucky we have the great musicians and singers we have. Finding another performer, and a conductor at that, willing to prepare 6 separate scores, run 2.5 hour rehearsals every week for no guaranteed pay...rough to say that least. Yes, we are planning on paying everyone involved but, at best, it'll probably be a token.
So, I took the role. We had another trombone player on board anyway, so I was a bit redundant. I'm definitely still finding my footing with the pieces; i didn't get hard copies of some of them until the first instrumental read Friday. I spent some time on them yesterday, but not as much as I should have. Now, I've got a week to prep like a mad man. One score is about three quarters marked up. The others will be marked all the hell this week...though I'll be changing the markings as I get new scores each time, I'm sure.
And I'll be fighting myself. It's a fair sized ensemble: 2 violins, 2 cellos, tenor sax, bari sax/bass clarinet, clarinet, trombone, piano, and the singers (ranging from 1-4 at a time). Yeah, I've been in front of orchestras and bands, but that was long ago...and they can run themselves surprisingly well. And I've done some chamber stuff, but even that was, what...almost 2 years ago? right? And opera? I only filled in as a conductor back in '09. and that was in '09.
My arm is sore from flapping. My eyes felt like they hadn't blinked in 2.5 hours, and have only started to really feel better. And my mind is shot beyond compare.
The concentration. I forgot about the level of concentration. The mind is not working at the level it used to. Thankfully, I've learned to prep a bit better.
Onwards and upwards. And, hey, it's 6 more conducting credits. Should I be listing those too? Damnit...
BTW, this Black House Collective/Kansas City Electronic Music and Arts Alliance collaboration is gonna kick some major ass. It's gonna be the opera event of the year in KC, which is saying something since there have already been like 3 premieres this year!
3/16/13
Limbo
There's an odd sense in our house these days. It's a house with three doctoral and one masters student. All composition. One doctoral is doing his defense this semester. Another defends next spring. The other may as well. The masters student also really only has one year left.
I'm done with coursework after this semester. Comps are finished. Dissertation is not yet completed, but depending on the situation, could be done as early as the fall.
And that's the kicker, for all of us: "...depending on the situation."
I've had uncertainty many times before. After DePauw, I had no direction other than "Apply for grad schools" and found myself on the beach in Jersey. It worked out. But there weren't any opportunities when I graduated, i made them.
After Brooklyn, similar situation. Job in Jersey disappeared with the economy. I applied for whatever I could, but a Masters degree is a tricky thing in my field. It's not the terminal degree, so teaching positions are incredibly difficult to find, beyond the occasional adjunct work. But much of the rest of the world sees you as horribly overqualified. So, I started a dark period in Indiana, begging for work for 3 months before getting hired at a music store making practically nothing.
Then I got into a Doctoral program. It was, somewhat, in desperation. But it was one of the schools I was interested in...I just didn't do the usual process and check out the schools.
So, there was a lot of unknown after my Masters, but, again, it was an unknown with no possibilities over my head.
Now, I'm finishing my doctorate. I've gotten one awesome opportunity for the fall already, and I'm hoping to be there. But, there's still so much over my head...
There's this Fulbright business. I will hear anytime between now and June 1. Sooner is much better, whether positive or negative. I have a preference for a "come on out to Sweden," but knowing is much better than not knowing.
There are job opportunities. Should I apply? I'll be ABD. I could be ABD with a "just waiting for the semester to end to get the diploma, but he defended in August." I could be ABD till May 2014. And then there's the fact, I could apply for the job, and get the Fulbright AND the job? What then? I'm guessing I'd turn down the job, but how will that affect future applications. My advisor has assured me that no one begrudges a Fulbright winner for taking off. I'll hold onto that.
And what if neither happen? Will I continue to work on this full length opera, or bang out a second short and turn in a set of two for my dissertation? I could be done, again, by August, or take my sweet ole time then and work on the craft and editing. I could definitely go to the opportunity in the fall, which would be effing awesome. I could do more in Kansas City, set-up events, maybe stage a couple more productions. Could edit what I have now, make it even tighter. Do a string quartet version of Cake finally.
And what exactly is my dissertation? Is it a full-length? Is it an "evening of short operas" with two 15-20 minute operas?
I've been feeling stuck in this Limbo. When there are no ready options, the world is open to you. You can take any opportunity that pops up, float around, skip town and move across the country. You spend your days searching. It's a different Limbo, a different stress. There's still a sense of unknown, but it's total unknown. The mind has difficulty processing the idea of "all options and no options are available."
But when you're sitting, waiting, with some distinct possibilities in place, it's different. You're waiting for that domino to drop that sets off the chain reaction. You're small ripples in a pond from water dripping off a leaf...It could continue, it could become a downpour and all those little ripples become a wave, or someone could throw a stone into the pond. Or a boulder.
Or possibly the entire world.
And then your original little ripples are consumed.
Trying to be tranquil in this sea of troubles is not more forte.
I'm done with coursework after this semester. Comps are finished. Dissertation is not yet completed, but depending on the situation, could be done as early as the fall.
And that's the kicker, for all of us: "...depending on the situation."
I've had uncertainty many times before. After DePauw, I had no direction other than "Apply for grad schools" and found myself on the beach in Jersey. It worked out. But there weren't any opportunities when I graduated, i made them.
After Brooklyn, similar situation. Job in Jersey disappeared with the economy. I applied for whatever I could, but a Masters degree is a tricky thing in my field. It's not the terminal degree, so teaching positions are incredibly difficult to find, beyond the occasional adjunct work. But much of the rest of the world sees you as horribly overqualified. So, I started a dark period in Indiana, begging for work for 3 months before getting hired at a music store making practically nothing.
Then I got into a Doctoral program. It was, somewhat, in desperation. But it was one of the schools I was interested in...I just didn't do the usual process and check out the schools.
So, there was a lot of unknown after my Masters, but, again, it was an unknown with no possibilities over my head.
Now, I'm finishing my doctorate. I've gotten one awesome opportunity for the fall already, and I'm hoping to be there. But, there's still so much over my head...
There's this Fulbright business. I will hear anytime between now and June 1. Sooner is much better, whether positive or negative. I have a preference for a "come on out to Sweden," but knowing is much better than not knowing.
There are job opportunities. Should I apply? I'll be ABD. I could be ABD with a "just waiting for the semester to end to get the diploma, but he defended in August." I could be ABD till May 2014. And then there's the fact, I could apply for the job, and get the Fulbright AND the job? What then? I'm guessing I'd turn down the job, but how will that affect future applications. My advisor has assured me that no one begrudges a Fulbright winner for taking off. I'll hold onto that.
And what if neither happen? Will I continue to work on this full length opera, or bang out a second short and turn in a set of two for my dissertation? I could be done, again, by August, or take my sweet ole time then and work on the craft and editing. I could definitely go to the opportunity in the fall, which would be effing awesome. I could do more in Kansas City, set-up events, maybe stage a couple more productions. Could edit what I have now, make it even tighter. Do a string quartet version of Cake finally.
And what exactly is my dissertation? Is it a full-length? Is it an "evening of short operas" with two 15-20 minute operas?
I've been feeling stuck in this Limbo. When there are no ready options, the world is open to you. You can take any opportunity that pops up, float around, skip town and move across the country. You spend your days searching. It's a different Limbo, a different stress. There's still a sense of unknown, but it's total unknown. The mind has difficulty processing the idea of "all options and no options are available."
But when you're sitting, waiting, with some distinct possibilities in place, it's different. You're waiting for that domino to drop that sets off the chain reaction. You're small ripples in a pond from water dripping off a leaf...It could continue, it could become a downpour and all those little ripples become a wave, or someone could throw a stone into the pond. Or a boulder.
Or possibly the entire world.
And then your original little ripples are consumed.
Trying to be tranquil in this sea of troubles is not more forte.
2/27/13
Overmarking
I have sat in front of my computer almost all day, tackling inputting chamber opera 2 into Sibelius.
First off, that's right! The original intent of the blog, to chronicle writing my first opera, has come back around for a second round! But there'll be more about that opportunity later.
For now, my head is in the score, getting all the details into this infernal software. They're all "nicely" laid out in my manuscript, but translating some things into notation in software isn't too easy. Sibelius 6 still doesn't treat Sprechstimme markings all that nicely (where's my shortcut for that on the keypad! C'mon!), and there are a fair share of note-head changes for different techniques.
Ah, so now you're thinking "Oh, he uses all these techniques, so he's gonna talk about what a pain that is" or maybe "Now he's gonna say 'there's a limit to putting dynamics on every note!' FERNEYHOUGH FOREVER!"
Well, we're not all Ferneyhough (but I kinda wish I was...dude's awesome, but that's a previous post). No, this is about something less...musical?
This is about the words. I'm in a second semester of playwriting, which makes me practically an expert. That's a joke. But one thing we've discussed several times in class is how much information should be put in stage directions. The professor, Frank Higgins (he's kinda kick ass. Check him out), likes to remind us "If the words dictate an action, you don't need stage directions." (paraphrased, of course). And, what about emotions, like "angrily." I remember, vaguely, Frank basically telling us at the beginning that this was pretty much a hands down "no."
And yet...it's a practice in operas. I've checked out a few scores and, there it is, right over the words. "Angrily" "with growing frustration" "Happily." In instrumental writing, I get it.
In the violin part to an opera, I get it
But right over the singers words, and just hers?
If I was a singer, which I'm most assuredly not (though my resume says I did it in amateur fashion many moons ago), I may take it in stride, and just do what I'm told.
Or I might get irritated.
Yeah, you're right, I'd get irritated. Who does this composer jackwad think he is, telling me exactly who I should feel. Maybe I feel like the character should be more peeved than angry. Maybe it's a jaunty happy not a blissful happy. I can add the character just fine, thank you.
If I sent out a script where lines were tagged as such, I'd be laughed at. So, why are we still doing it in music? I even started to do it in my own piece, when I realized "ya know, I don't REALLY have to tell the singer how to do this. If the words tell the action, and show the character, it doesn't matter." Heck, if it's written well enough, even things like irony and sarcasm would come across in the characters voice without me having to put "sarcastically."
So, maybe we should ease off a bit in the markings. Let musicians be musicians, singers be singers, and opera singers by OPERA singers...which intrinsically means actor/actress as well.
Enough complaining, back to the grind!
First off, that's right! The original intent of the blog, to chronicle writing my first opera, has come back around for a second round! But there'll be more about that opportunity later.
For now, my head is in the score, getting all the details into this infernal software. They're all "nicely" laid out in my manuscript, but translating some things into notation in software isn't too easy. Sibelius 6 still doesn't treat Sprechstimme markings all that nicely (where's my shortcut for that on the keypad! C'mon!), and there are a fair share of note-head changes for different techniques.
Ah, so now you're thinking "Oh, he uses all these techniques, so he's gonna talk about what a pain that is" or maybe "Now he's gonna say 'there's a limit to putting dynamics on every note!' FERNEYHOUGH FOREVER!"
Well, we're not all Ferneyhough (but I kinda wish I was...dude's awesome, but that's a previous post). No, this is about something less...musical?
This is about the words. I'm in a second semester of playwriting, which makes me practically an expert. That's a joke. But one thing we've discussed several times in class is how much information should be put in stage directions. The professor, Frank Higgins (he's kinda kick ass. Check him out), likes to remind us "If the words dictate an action, you don't need stage directions." (paraphrased, of course). And, what about emotions, like "angrily." I remember, vaguely, Frank basically telling us at the beginning that this was pretty much a hands down "no."
And yet...it's a practice in operas. I've checked out a few scores and, there it is, right over the words. "Angrily" "with growing frustration" "Happily." In instrumental writing, I get it.
In the violin part to an opera, I get it
But right over the singers words, and just hers?
If I was a singer, which I'm most assuredly not (though my resume says I did it in amateur fashion many moons ago), I may take it in stride, and just do what I'm told.
Or I might get irritated.
Yeah, you're right, I'd get irritated. Who does this composer jackwad think he is, telling me exactly who I should feel. Maybe I feel like the character should be more peeved than angry. Maybe it's a jaunty happy not a blissful happy. I can add the character just fine, thank you.
If I sent out a script where lines were tagged as such, I'd be laughed at. So, why are we still doing it in music? I even started to do it in my own piece, when I realized "ya know, I don't REALLY have to tell the singer how to do this. If the words tell the action, and show the character, it doesn't matter." Heck, if it's written well enough, even things like irony and sarcasm would come across in the characters voice without me having to put "sarcastically."
So, maybe we should ease off a bit in the markings. Let musicians be musicians, singers be singers, and opera singers by OPERA singers...which intrinsically means actor/actress as well.
Enough complaining, back to the grind!
2/16/13
What to do during The Dark Night
No, not Batman movies.
In my playwriting class, we talked about "the life of the project." One step, sitting just past the center point, is:
The Dark Night of the SOUL!
Ah, such a fitting description. The steps, in order, were:
But the point isn't to compare. The point is to say I stick with a single project in a near obsessive manner for a short period of time. And I accomplish that project.
In my playwriting class, we talked about "the life of the project." One step, sitting just past the center point, is:
The Dark Night of the SOUL!
Ah, such a fitting description. The steps, in order, were:
- This is the best idea ever.
- This is harder than I thought.
- This is gonna take some work.
- This sucks, and it's boring.
- DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL
- It'll be good to finish because I'll learn something for next time.
- It's done and it sucks, but it's better than I thought.
It's a pretty good description of the life of a creative project. But what happens when you hit that DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL!
In a project, it can just die away. How many unfinished projects do you have laying around? Happily I don't have too many, but there are some, hiding in the corners of my room. But this stage hits more than just in a project.
What happens when it's your life?
It's that funk. It's the moment after you've been unable to get motivation beyond flipping on the TV or XBox, and sitting for a couple hours, before shrugging and just going to sleep. That moment when sleep won't come, laying in bed, lights off, wondering there's a bat in your room. No, not Batman, but a real bat.
And you start to think...what's the point?
That's the Dark Night of the Soul. Most of us have been there. Some of us live there for extremely long amounts of time. I'm one of those people. In life, and in creative projects.
So, how do I get out of it? If I stayed there all the time I'd either be dead or never leave my room.
It's that funk. It's the moment after you've been unable to get motivation beyond flipping on the TV or XBox, and sitting for a couple hours, before shrugging and just going to sleep. That moment when sleep won't come, laying in bed, lights off, wondering there's a bat in your room. No, not Batman, but a real bat.
And you start to think...what's the point?
That's the Dark Night of the Soul. Most of us have been there. Some of us live there for extremely long amounts of time. I'm one of those people. In life, and in creative projects.
So, how do I get out of it? If I stayed there all the time I'd either be dead or never leave my room.
I start with setting a nearly unattainable goal. Say, re-orchestrate an entire piece in roughly 24 hours. Actually, it was closer to 36...from Wednesday afternoon to Thursday evening. This included not just the notes, but having a completely clean and wonderful score, ready to print and bind, and send off.
Then, I do it. To accomplish the task, I had to work. And I mean WORK. In those 36 hours, I spent about 25 of them working. Wednesday dinner and Thursday lunch I worked while eating. Thursday dinner I took off because I had all the notes in place, so I could take an hour off.
Ah, 25 hours of work in 36 hours. If we push it from 8am Wednesday to 12am Friday (40 hours), it would have been 29 hours of work, as I started after being in class and teaching on Wednesday.
Now, for some, that's not a huge amount of work. for others, used to a roughly 9-5 day without a family, it seems like a lot. For those with multiple kids and jobs, well...you're probably laughing at how much relaxation time I had during those times. And probably a bit envious that I had that much time to work on a single project.
Ah, 25 hours of work in 36 hours. If we push it from 8am Wednesday to 12am Friday (40 hours), it would have been 29 hours of work, as I started after being in class and teaching on Wednesday.
Now, for some, that's not a huge amount of work. for others, used to a roughly 9-5 day without a family, it seems like a lot. For those with multiple kids and jobs, well...you're probably laughing at how much relaxation time I had during those times. And probably a bit envious that I had that much time to work on a single project.
But the point isn't to compare. The point is to say I stick with a single project in a near obsessive manner for a short period of time. And I accomplish that project.
If I don't, I stay in the Dark Night of the SOUL! If I do, it helps break up the funk. It's a job accomplished, not something sitting on my desk in the "to-do" pile.
The only way to break out is to complete something. anything. So, I do.
That score has been sent to June in Buffalo. Will it get in? I hope so, but this has been a year of losing in those matters...but that's a different matter.
The only way to break out is to complete something. anything. So, I do.
That score has been sent to June in Buffalo. Will it get in? I hope so, but this has been a year of losing in those matters...but that's a different matter.
1/24/13
When did i start blogging about theater...
About the time I get sent blogs like this.
over at Bitter Gertrude a little post has gone viral: A Common Problem I See In Plays by Women Playwrights. It's Not What You Think.
And it really wasn't what I was expecting to read. Reactive female characters, women who were central characters but...not. And the parallel between reality. It's true. And in thinking through my catalogue of TV and Movie characters (which is far more exhaustive than Plays), I can see the trend throughout, notice immediately why certain female characters grabbed my attention. It's a great post, and one worth reading.
But, for me, it was the last little bit that got me.
Once upon a time I did a little post talking about how I was somewhat timid to write female roles. The main recap is that I felt like I couldn't capture the essence of a strong female character. And, now I see at least one problem in some of the dialogue I've written for women. In attempting to make it seem "real," I've more or less created female characters that were amalgamations of women I know. They're never one particular person, a little bit from Friend A, a little from Friend B, etc. But, in doing so, I was watering down each person's attitude.
And making them more reactive than they should be.
So, I've still got quite a bit of work to do. I'm, at best, a novice writer in so many ways. But at least now I've been told, in writing, to get over the "authenticity" bit. Back to sketching a strong, less reactive, more central character for this opera
over at Bitter Gertrude a little post has gone viral: A Common Problem I See In Plays by Women Playwrights. It's Not What You Think.
And it really wasn't what I was expecting to read. Reactive female characters, women who were central characters but...not. And the parallel between reality. It's true. And in thinking through my catalogue of TV and Movie characters (which is far more exhaustive than Plays), I can see the trend throughout, notice immediately why certain female characters grabbed my attention. It's a great post, and one worth reading.
But, for me, it was the last little bit that got me.
"(PS to the men out there writing strong, compelling, active roles for women: Thank you. The women actors of the world also thank you. Don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t have the right to write stories for women because you don’t have “authenticity.” Jesus Timberlake Christ, do they really want there to be FEWER roles for women?)"
Once upon a time I did a little post talking about how I was somewhat timid to write female roles. The main recap is that I felt like I couldn't capture the essence of a strong female character. And, now I see at least one problem in some of the dialogue I've written for women. In attempting to make it seem "real," I've more or less created female characters that were amalgamations of women I know. They're never one particular person, a little bit from Friend A, a little from Friend B, etc. But, in doing so, I was watering down each person's attitude.
And making them more reactive than they should be.
So, I've still got quite a bit of work to do. I'm, at best, a novice writer in so many ways. But at least now I've been told, in writing, to get over the "authenticity" bit. Back to sketching a strong, less reactive, more central character for this opera
1/18/13
Vacation means...?
Writing 3 minutes of music of a commission for Trombone consort (still so much more to do)
Sending off a couple festivals apps
Going to Vegas and gambling a little (and thereby only losing a little). It was my bff's birthday, and we decided to do it in style. She'd never been to an expensive steak joint. Nor a joust. Both of these things were fixed.
Getting horribly ill (probably from Vegas or all the horrid flights.)
Mastering a CD (you'll find out more when it's released). Learned just how beautiful Waves plugins are. They were totally worth every single effing penny.
So that means I need to go back to composing--it is a commission after all. Plus that pesky semester has started.
Oh, and I made it past the first round of the Fulbright.
If I wasn't so horribly ill, I'd be all about celebrating.
Sending off a couple festivals apps
Going to Vegas and gambling a little (and thereby only losing a little). It was my bff's birthday, and we decided to do it in style. She'd never been to an expensive steak joint. Nor a joust. Both of these things were fixed.
Getting horribly ill (probably from Vegas or all the horrid flights.)
Mastering a CD (you'll find out more when it's released). Learned just how beautiful Waves plugins are. They were totally worth every single effing penny.
So that means I need to go back to composing--it is a commission after all. Plus that pesky semester has started.
Oh, and I made it past the first round of the Fulbright.
If I wasn't so horribly ill, I'd be all about celebrating.
1/7/13
Why all the angst?
This just makes me feel sad. I'm sorry Mr. Asia has such a narrow musical ear. I have a feeling he dislikes the minimalist, post-minimalist, and electronic movements as well.
We are all entitled to our opinions. And he is quite allowed to dislike Cage. However, I listened to the entirety of the Sonatas and Interludes yesterday. On loop. For three hours. And was never bored for a minute.
I just hope Mr. Asia doesn't take this extreme approach when teaching students, building up prejudices in students at an early age. Both Stravinsky and Cage are important. As is Schoenberg. And Carter, Reich, John Adams, Tania Leon, Morton Subotnick, Dennis Smalley, Terry Riley, John Corigliano, Rzewksi, Cornelius Cardew, Edgar Varese, Luc Ferrari, Pierre Schaeffer, Pierre Boulez, Stockhausen, and many others from various formats. All have had profound effects on music. To discount them because you personally find one piece boring is a disservice.
Doubly so with students. How does he treat that situation? As a teacher, this attitude worries me.
There's tons of music I don't personally like. I find Mozart boring, to this day. I don't particularly like Jonty Harrison's music either. But I force students to study and listen to both, experience both, and come to their own decisions...and then talk about what each composer brings to the table and what can be learned.
I hope Mr. Asia has a much more open ear than he purports here. If he doesn't, I will never been submitting to anything where he is involved, as I know he will dislike my music. And he'll probably get blacklisted by many composers who write music like me anymore. This will lead to very narrow sounding concerts, no better than going to your average orchestra subscription concert. Pity, really, a living composer willing to bury a large segment of music.
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