In case you hadn't noticed, my blogging has ceased. I'm tired of throwing out ideas into the seething mass of internet information, seeing no change, interactive little, and not even knowing if any change is being affected. I still get irritated, worked up, and generally feel the need to yell my opinion, but it all feels impotent now.
This was further pushed by listening to a brief amount of NPR this morning. These people have their opinions heard. Why? They are not special, the same old people spouting the same song and dance. We give praise to the blessed few that achieve success, and then gloss over the fact that they have agents and marketing professionals working for them. We say "learn from X industry" without ever bothering to analyze that industry, nor even our own. No, we're just to take arbitrary ideas from the most successful and that will magically save everything. Look to those that succeed, and take from them, while never bothering to analyze why the initiative worked locally, and will fail in your location. This rant is over, as are future rants. There's really no point. I've tried at create change through my actions as well as through my blog. The blog is obviously ineffective and not worth the time. Honestly, I'm not sure I, alone or with others, can create change in music.
I have ideas on how to create change in music, to create a wider community in music, to get over the cult of the ego, to create experiences that people can enjoy, to engineer concerts meant for a variety of locations and audiences. Talking about it on here does nothing. The ideas are philosophical, experimental, ideological.
My blog doesn't do anything toward those goals, whether I write cultural commentary, reviews, advice, or discussions of my own issues. No community is built around it. The only comments are spam, and while I do engage in thoughtful conversations, it is usually with the same couple people...and I don't need to bother with a blog to have those conversations. I had one nice viral bit of snark, and wasn't really able to capitalize past that. Whether that is my own mistake (very possible), or shows a prevailing attitude in music and online journalism, it doesn't much matter.
So the blog has halted, at least for the time being. The energy will be focused on local and national change through something more active, on creating and performing music, or on leaving academia (and possibly music). I will probably continue to comment on other blogs, Facebook, articles, and all over. And I will undoubtedly be lured back in a blind rage at some point. I almost was this past weekend after watching a series of orchestra readings. But, no. Good luck to all this persevering through. We can talk about all these ideas over beer, or maybe online.
Rest now wtfisjohnsopera.